Sunday, December 2, 2012

Goodbye To You

     I seems like i've been sick for about a month now. I just can't seem to get over this mess!! I will be so glad when I start to feel better. I mentioned in my last post that it seems like the Dr. Office/Pharmacy have become my second homes! It's crazy. Everyone warned me that my first year of teaching would be the worst because I would literally get sick with everything my kiddos brought in.....and boy they were right! I went to bed early last night and I didn't wake up until about 4 this afternoon. Normally I have trouble sleeping but not since I've been sick. I talked to my Mama today and she told me sleeping was probably the best thing I could do for myself right now. I felt horrible because I felt like I had wasted my whole day, but I guess sleeping so much today will help me get through my day tomorrow. Hopefully I can make it through a whole day and won't have to call in a sub! I left early two days last week because I just felt so stinkin horrible. Thank goodness Christmas break is coming up!!
     I've had a lot on my mind/heart here lately. I've talked about all of the changes I have been going through here lately. Most of them have been good changes....but some have been harder to deal with. I have a few close friends that I have had to let go because they just weren't good for me to be around. They make choices that aren't so good {which is their business and I am in no way judging them} but I made the choice not to be apart of those said choices they have made. It's hard because I am trying to better myself and get my stuff together and it just seems like they are happy with barely getting by in life. I just had to take myself out of that situation because it was really effecting me and bringing me down. My Mama always told me "If you sleep with dogs you will get fleas" and boy was she ever right. Don't get me wrong....I'm not perfect and don't claim to be....BUT I am trying to make good choices and be a better person and have a better life.....and it's hard to make ANY improvements when the people I am around don't really seem to care about improving their situations. So....that being said....I have said goodbye to these people. I will always love them and if they ever need anything I will try my best to help them out but I just can't be with them on a daily basis anymore. It got to where they were bringing me down and making me not really care about making positive changes....and that's not going to fly. Also, one of them mentioned that they felt like I was "throwing it in their face" that I have a job and they don't. First of all.....I have NEVER and would NEVER say ANYTHING like that to the people I love. I'm pretty sure what it boils down to is they are letting their own insecurities get in the way of our friendship. So.....I am pretty much done with that. I just don't understand why people can't be happy for me. I went for 2 years trying to find a good teaching job.....if they were really my friends....they would be happy for me because they have seen me struggle. Obviously they aren't my true friends though and life is way to short for that kind of crap. So to all the people who have been there for me.....seen me struggle....and are still there for me {not to mention are really happy for me} THANK YOU! For those people who are letting their own insecurities take over their lives.....sorry for your luck. You just lost a great friend!

     Ok......I feel better now.....just had to get that off my chest.  :)) Hope this weekend has been a good one and I hope you all have a great Monday!

1 comment:

  1. Chianne, you made the right choices. I had to do the same thing about 2 years ago to my best friend of 8 years. Our friendship had fallen apart and I got tired of her treating me like crap and there were some decisions that she made in her life that I just could not be a part of and I was so hurt that I had to walk away. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made but it was the right one. I still suffer internally every day at loosing my best friend but I couldn't stay in that friendship.
    Hope you feel better soon!