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Thursday, August 25, 2011

A Few Thursday Thoughts

This has been a very stressful day to say the least. First, I got a text from my Mama who told me my Granny had fallen and was in the hospital. She's actually my Great Granny, so she is getting up there in age. She lives by herself and does mostly everything on her own. So, I feel very blessed that someone was able to find her and take her to the hospital. That's a scary scary thing when someone older is living by themselves and they fall. It could be days before someone finds them. That actually happened to my Mam {who was my other Great Grandmother}. Fortunately she didn't lay there for days, but it was a few hours before someone found her.

 Anyways....sorry I'm rambling...it's just been one of THOSE days. Days when I feel like I really am alone. Days when I feel as though I'm being punished for something I did in my past. {It never fails that if something bad can happen.....it will find it's way to me.} I'm not trying to sound like I'm on the pity pot, because most days I feel good and I know that there are people who are fighting this on-going battle with me. Today was just not one of those days.

After I found out about my Granny, the woman from the computer repair place called to tell me that they couldn't get anything off my old hard-drive. Which means that all of my precious pics are gone. Most of those pics were all I had left of someone. I still have our scrapbook, but that doesn't even begin to touch the number of pics I had on my computer. Needless to say, I broke down and cried. I always told my Mama that the one thing I would freak out about is losing my pictures. {Of course we were referring to losing them in a fire or some other issue like that.} So of course....the one thing I said I would really freak out about...happened....of course. My Mama tried to console me. I cried and cried and asked her why I was being punished. Why is my life like this? How did it get like this? She just told me that I wasn't being punished, but I did have the worst luck of anyone she's ever seen in her life haha! Just call me Murphy I reckon!

I honestly know in my heart that there is a reason for ALL of this. I don't know what the reason is yet though and that's sometimes so hard to deal with. I don't know why I don't have a teaching job by now. I don't know why I'm not married to the love of my life. I don't know why I don't have the precious baby that I have wanted for so long. But one of these days, I will know why. I will look back on this time {and cringe haha} and be thankful for all of the things I had to go through, because my life will be so wonderful. I will have the things I've prayed so hard for. I know this to be the truth. I just pray that until that happens, I can be patient, understanding, and give all my burdens, worries, sadness, etc. to God. He is the one who can take care of all those things and bring me contentment.

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