Monday, June 6, 2011

MIsc. Monday

It's time to write random and link up with Carissa!

This weekend was AMAZING! I had an absolute blast with my new guy friend! I swear...I haven't been out of the house this much since I was 19! {That's not a bad thing either!}

Last week really opened my eyes to several things: I can't always please everyone, People are going to have their own thoughts and opinions about what I do with my life & I can't change that, & I have to do what makes me happy & puts the sparkle back into my eyes that have for so long looked dull & lifeless. Having said that, it really hurts me to think that the people I love the most can also be some of the most hurtful people I have in my life. It seems like I am constantly trying to please EVERYONE & I just can't do that anymore. I have to work on pleasing myself, because for so long {TOO LONG} I have been unhappy, regretful, bitter, angry, and I don't want to feel those horrible feelings anymore. It seems like I'm "Damned if I do, damned if I don't." I'm just trying to be a twenty-something year old woman who lives her life to the fullest & doesn't dwell on things she can't change. I can't change the fact that I didn't marry who I thought I should have married & now he is with someone else & has his own life that doesn't involve me anymore. I can't change the fact that I screwed up in school & had to put in an extra year of hard work and dedication so I could finally graduate in December 2010, only to go through hell to try to find a job. {Still haven't found one people!} I can't change the fact that I hurt the people I love most in my life, but I can say that I love you no matter what & I truly am sorry for "letting you down" and not doing things the way you think I should. I just know that I have to try to live my life before it's too late. I'm tired of having regrets. Now if I regret something, it's going to be because I actually did it, not because I missed out on it.

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